making muscle wasting history

and then our first hoist is delivered and it feels like the world fell apart all over.
It does seem all the "firsts" are so hard, the first time I gave Josh steroids, the first time he was measured for splints, the first night we put the splints on him, the first wheelchair... you would think maybe we would almost get used to these new things when we know they are coming. That enough "firsts" would numb us to the ones ahead.
The only sollace is that every first we eventually did get used to, they became part of every day life; so maybe I should just name the hoist, its meant to be our friend, when Josh falls now at least we can get him back up... but its so THERE, a constant reminder of limitation and wasting, its real and solid and for someone who is defiant and determined to fight Duchenne, how can I welcome this into my home?
Ah its so tough at times.